We are now beginning our segment on “aparigraha” translated as non-grasping. Aparigraha is one of the 5 Yamas or restraints of a yoga student. The Yamas are primarily focused on how we interact with others, including the things that we obtain.
Aparigraha is often used in reference to material possessions, such as excessive shopping, stealing or hoarding. At a deeper level, it is not just material possessions.
To learn more, let’s break down the word in Sanskrit. “Pari” means ‘everything’; “graha” means ‘to grab’; the prefix “a” means ‘non’, the same way that “atypical” means ‘not typical’. All together, “aparigraha” means ‘not grasping at everything.’
As with most things yoga related, we work outside in. Starting with our actions that relate to grasping – inability to let go, hoarding; insatiable grasping for more, excessive shopping or making money; grasping for what is not for us, stealing.
If we look back to the first moment of grasping, with most of us – it would have been at birth. Immediately we throw our arms open and start opening and closing our hands. We cry out gasping and grasping for air. Usually it’s pretty shocking because we’ve just spent a good amount of time in liquid. As we grow, we hunger for milk and greedily latch on. As children grow, they may reach up and grasp to be held.
Now, there are many theories about child development that I won’t go into here, but as we develop – usually with the help of our parents, families and culture – we usually level out or calibrate our desires with the reality. We learn to tame our more intense cravings or grasping. We slowly learn to stop throwing tantrums or having meltdowns.
But usually, the grasping never quite leaves. It just, evolves. What might have started with a difficult journey down the birth canal, leaving us with a terror of not getting enough air, leaving us with a habit of somewhat shallow exhales and greedy inhales… might evolve into a general feeling of terror that we won’t get enough affirmation, leaving us with a habit of never quite finishing projects and greedily starting new ones.
That’s just one example. The mystery and beauty of our human lives is the sheer complexity of our development. To a certain extent, even the most educated and conscious parent can’t control for the development of their child, and certain aspects of personality development are left up to God, biology, genetics, random chance or karma; depending on how you look at things.
Breath is one of those body functions that is a two-way street between mind and body. So it’s a great way to look at grasping at the deep level where mind meets body.
Until we die, our breath will always continue – whether we choose to breathe or not. Not a single person who is alive, has not breathed for an hour. Yet no one stays awake a decides to breathe through the night, our bodies take over. Not only are there countless breaths being breathed across the world at any given time, there are an infinitude of ways to breathe. And no way is wrong!
If you are a yogi or meditator, you may have moved through phases in your relationship with breath.
First.
One of the first stages in my relationship with breath, was realizing that when instructed to take a deep belly breath, I couldn’t!
I developed quite a complex around it, spinning in all sorts of directions about why I couldn’t breath correctly, etc. With time, I realized that I spent so much time in my youth trying to flatten my stomach, that I literally held my stomach tight and flat for most of my 10 public, waking hours. I had such a grasping to keep a desirable appearance, that after nearly 20 years of this conditioning, I literally could not let go of my belly. It was as if I had spent 20 years in a corset!
Now, as a yoga instructor, one of my favorite cues is, “allow your belly to fall open; what happens when you allow the lowest part of your low belly, to fall open?”
Second.
The next phase in my breath development, was realizing that I actually struggle to take inhales, especially when anxious. My natural breath ceases to flow and becomes uncomfortable. My exhales will continue and continue and continue… until deep in my low belly, a cluster of muscles begins to grasp, stopping the inhale from starting. If I focus very spaciously and quietly on that part of my low belly belly, eventually the cramp will release and the inhale will naturally begin.
When I tune in even deeper, there is an incredible yearning for the possibility of the new breath, and a fear at the same time, resulting in my lower body clenching and curling in, all very subtly with each breath.
You can imagine that entire saga is occurring 20 times a minute. As a functioning adult, I don’t have time for this! So I power through and use my mind to force myself to breathe, even though my body is not quite flowing naturally.
And so, our breath.. is an incredible cue to the state of aparigraha. If we are grasping, we will usually see it in our breath.
Let’s experiment by exploring our breath. As usual, let’s clear our mind-body palette with a short body scan. Find a comfortable seat.
Share this post